We have just finished a two week half term (something the school started about 7 years ago, and I think it’s a really good idea – this term always feels so long from a parent, teacher and student point of view), but last week was a long week in this house. Our youngest was feeling off. He was low, he was lethargic, and as keeping with 2021, we did a lateral flow test just to rule out Covid, and that was fine, he was just low.

I asked him if he knew what was wrong, and I tried very hard not to keep asking if he was OK and if he felt any better/knew what was wrong/wanted to do something/would come for a walk. He didn’t, he was kind of ok, and no to the rest. I did explain that we just have days or weeks when things feel crap, and that we just have a low mood for no apparent reason, but I think that was more for my benefit than his.

He had been invited to a friend’s to revise (first A-level tests this week), and then had been invited to a Hallowe’en/bonfire night party, and then he was going to an Anime-con at the weekend. I wanted him to do as much as he could manage, but not so much he’d start the new half term with a melt down.

There was much procrastination, sighing and shoulder shrugging, but then he decided he wouldn’t go and revise, and that he couldn’t go to the party – he just wasn’t up to it. He did, however, manage the Anime-con, and although he was socially exhausted when he got home, he enjoyed it. Our eldest took him, and he enjoyed it too, and their stories of the sights they saw kept us amused when they got home.

On top of this, our eldest had a publishing deadline (a bit of a secret project so I can’t say any more), but that meant that he needed my help last week. ADHD and dyslexia make any kind of project harder and more tiring, so I am on hand to type words, act as PA and do whatever else is needed. Amazingly (I have no idea how), the deadline was met, and all is good in his world again.

Last night, I felt awful, I was so tired, and felt almost hungover. Today isn’t much better. I had weird dreams last night, and didn’t feel at all refreshed when I woke up this morning. I have a mini burn out. Last week I was juggling their needs (and quite right too, I am a SEND mum, this is how it is), and my work. On top of that our dog is terrified of fireworks and so we had two dreadful evenings with him, and then I picked up 4 rescued ex-battery hens yesterday, and they are in a dreadful state. All that means that my cup is empty, I am out of spoons, I am done – but just for now. I need to accept that, and give myself a few gentle days just to refill. I will work, but I will also rest. I will do what I need to do, and everything else will wait.

I also need to listen to my own advice – as I told a friend, another SEND mum who’s having a tough time at the moment, parenting is exhausting at the best of times, but parenting additional needs takes super hero strength. So now I am going to hang up my cape for a day or two, and just breathe and rest whenever I can.