I have written extensively about mental health before, and how mental health is health. And I’ve written about how parents advocate for our children until they they are old enough to advocate for themselves. Today’s blog links both of those.

I just need to point out that I have permission to share this story.

My last two posts have been about settling in at uni, and post 18 help, so I won’t waffle on about that again, but because uni hasn’t been great, our youngest decided that he needed a little more help than we could offer.

I phoned our GP practice back in November, and they saw our son that day. The GP was incredible supportive, and referred him to the mental health nurse. I went in with him to see the GP, but he chose to go in to see the mental health nurse on his own. He messaged me when he came out to say it had been ok, and they discussed ADHD testing, medication and talking therapy. He wanted the ADHD testing, thought talking therapy was a good idea, but wanted to try therapy before considering meds. All good, and he was taking control and I didn’t need to advocate.

The next appointment with the nurse was just after Christmas, and they discussed therapies again and he booked an appointment. The nurse also send off the ADHD referral – but that has a waiting time of up to 8 months.

The first therapy session was this week. I drove him to the appointment, as neither of us knew how he would feel afterwards. I went with him to the centre, and waited with him. I took work with me to do while I waited, but I was there as a safety net, just in case he needed me to go in.

He didn’t.

He came out quite upbeat, he liked the therapist and they have a plan. He will always be autistic (because this is a way of being, not an illness to be cured), he will always be anxious (because that’s just how he is), and he will always overthink things (see previous parenthesis), and the therapist agreed and the plan has nothing to do with any of this. The plan is to have Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help him cope with university and day to day life a little easier, with strategies to manage anxieties when they get a little too much. He’s back in 2 weeks, he has homework, and he will be having between 4 & 8 sessions.

This is exactly how things should be. His mental health isn’t brilliant at the moment, so he saw the GP, she referred him to the practice specialist, who then referred him to talking therapies. He didn’t go to the closest place as they have a long waiting list, he said yes to a cancellation because it meant he was seen quicker, and he turned down online group sessions as he feels they wouldn’t be for him. Perfect.

Too many adults hide their mental health issues because there is still a stigma about mental illness. I know parents who have kept their children’s mental health issues a secret, and got cross when I asked how their children were doing in front of other people.

Mental health is health. Mental illness is illness. We need to look after our heads as they control everything else in our bodies.

I am grateful that I had permission to write about this, and I am pleased that our advocating about mental wellness and how much it matters is no longer needed.