To parents of year 13s, we are half way through the Easter holidays, and in just over 11 weeks (or earlier), our babies will have finished formal education. We can see the finish line, but we must remember that this is their race, not ours.

Our teenagers are about to start the most stressful & final term of their school years. Ours were the ones who piloted the new SPaG SATS in 2016, the majority of their GCSE curriculum was taught online, and then the exams were on, then they were off, then they were going to be assessed by the exam boards & then they weren’t. They have had an absolute shitstorm of a time in education, and yet over the next 11 weeks they will take exams that are back to ‘normal’ – be that A-levels, AS levels, BTECs, T-quals or other.

Whatever August brings them when they open their envelope, check online, get an email from their uni of choice, they have done incredibly well just to still be in education. We need to keep our expectations in check.

If August doesn’t bring the results they want, the world will still turn, and it is our job to help them pause, breathe and decide what’s next. But we need to take that pressure off them right now.

As I said above, it is not our race. We are just the spectators, the supporters, the bringers of juice, chocolate and revision snacks. We need to be there for them, cheering them on, but we need to make sure we don’t add to the pressure. There is often a fine line between helping and pushing, between assisting and being overbearing. It is a fine line that’s easy to miss – and I have missed far too often – but we must stay the parent side, unless we are invited over.

We also nee to remember that our teenagers are absolute superstars. They have been through things our generation can’t begin to imagine. They have learnt resilience, determination, and how to cope with global disasters. When they were just 15, their world changed forever, and they spent over 2 years in and out of lockdowns and with restrictions on their lives. Some will have lost loved ones, some will have seen their parents and carers struggle mentally and financially. Some will have felt their lives change forever.

They are all amazing individuals, and we need to let them know that we have their backs, that they have our unconditional support & love. We need to bend and move heaven and earth to give them what they need over the next few weeks. We need to put down our phones and check in with them every day, and not expect much more than a grunt in return. We need to read body language, we need to pull them back from burn out or support them if they need our help. My deal is that there will always be ice cream in the freezer and easy peel oranges in the fruit bowl!

These 17 and 18 year olds really are the future. They are the ones who will shape the world that we will grow old in. It is up to us to help them with whatever they need between now and the end of June. We need to listen, not push and be there. For the next 11 weeks, our needs have to take a back seat, our egos have to take a back seat. The next 11 weeks is just about them.

Thank you for reading.