Our eldest is 25 tomorrow – he should have been 25 a fortnight ago if he had been born on his due date, and he should have been 25 today if he had arrived on the day I was admitted to hospital in labour! This characteristic has stayed with him – he will always be ready in 5 minutes, even when he needs to eat, shower and get changed, and wherever we are going is always 20 minutes away, even if it’s over 50 miles!

Our youngest will be 17 in 10 weeks, and driving lessons are already booked. He was a day early, even though the midwife told me that I would be waiting at least another week when I saw her 3 days before he was born – and he has kept this characteristic! He looks like he won’t be ready to go somewhere, but then from nowhere he’s standing by the door dressed and raring to go (although as a teen, that might be a slight exaggeration!).

Our children are amazing – we love their company, their chatter, their insights, their caring natures and their characters. Spending time with them has always been a pleasure, never, ever a chore. Even though they both have their difficulties, we wouldn’t change anything about them, but we would change the world and how it sees them sometimes.

We had a conversation at the weekend – or at least I posed a question. 25 years ago, when I was in labour, if we had been told about the severe dyslexia, ADHD and OCD and chronic kidney problem, what would we have done? And again, if we had been told 17 years ago that our rainbow baby would be autistic, dyslexic, have GAD and Irlen syndrome (as well as spending 2 weeks in SCBU ICU) what would we have done?

PANIC!

We would have panicked, doubted ourselves, expected the worst, and we would have probably treated them differently. It would have been much worse. Even if we had read all the books and spoken to everyone who knew anything, and searched online for everything we still wouldn’t have been ready, and we would still have been surprised, overwhelmed and completely unprepared.

If you have met, taught or if you are a parent to a person with ADHD, you have met that one person. The next person you meet with ADHD will be completely different. The same with ASD, anxiety, dyslexia, OCD and every other hidden disability you could list. Books help, support groups are amazing (usually), but nothing could have prepared us for our rollercoaster. And I think being forewarned would have made us much worse parents.

We may have expected less. We may have inhibited our amazingly eclectic individuals because a book told us something, or because they ticked a box (or didn’t tick a box) for something else. We may have not taken them on adventures because a leaflet said they wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t manage. We may not have been sarcastic to the teen because, you know, autism, and yet he is so sarcastic with such a dark, dry sense of humour. We may not have encouraged our eldest to play team sports because of how long games are, and would he concentrate for that long – and yet he had England County rugby trials when he was 21.

If we had known what was coming, we would have focused on the negatives and potential problems. If we had known what was coming we would have been really worried. If we had known what was coming we would have doubted ourselves even more than we have done. If we had known what was coming, we would have inhibited them, stifled them and they wouldn’t be who they are today.

Today we are blessed with two huge (both over 6′ 4″) giants who are just the absolute best. They are neurodiverse, and help us see the world in new ways, as well as having the most bizarre conversations and opinions. They bring so much happiness and joy to us, and are the movers and the shakers who touch everyone they meet, and who change the world for the better. The rollercoaster ride with them is awesome, and as they both become adults, we just need to hold on tight to keep up!