This year has been tough on our teen, and we’re only at the beginning of March. There was an issue just after Christmas which I mentioned here, and although school handled it incredibly well, we had ongoing issues because of the effect this had (also discussed in the post). It was a long half term up until February, half term itself was not relaxing as it was just a countdown to going back, and then the anxiety, worry and expectation of a downturn hit again as soon as he was back.

I emailed school and I spoke to the SenCo. I explained the situation and they were very understanding and put support in place in lessons where needed. However, they couldn’t sort out what was going on inside his head, and neither could I. It then occurred to me that a year ago when I was GCSE Options time, he sorted out a clash of subjects while I was exchanging emails with the head of year. Earlier this academic year there was another problem that I was trying to sort out that he gave a concise and logical argument in favour of his point of view.

I deferred the battle to him. I reminded him of his successful track record, and I told him that if this one small aspect of school was as bad as it felt, do something.

He did.

He emailed the SenCo and Head of Year and asked for a meeting. At the meeting he was a calm, composed and eloquent. He explained the problem, explained in detail about how it affected his mental health not just during the lesson, but before and after. He explained why their measures that had been introduced to help him wouldn’t work, and he got the outcome he wanted.

I wouldn’t want to repeat the last few weeks, but I also wouldn’t want to take it away or stop the bad things happen. Our teen is a different person. He is stronger, because he took control and sorted out his problem. He is more confident because of sorting out the problem, but also because he found out he had the backing of the sports team. He is even walking with more self belief and attitude – and his rugby has suddenly reached a new level. I’ve even had a glimpse of teenage grumpiness and grunting!

Dealing with this situation, deciding to sort it out himself and finding a bigger tribe has been invaluable for his mental well-being. He has come out of this stronger, and it’s a fabulous thing to see!