I am definitely guilty of looking at other people’s lives (as portrayed on Social Media more than their real lives) and feeling feelings. This may be out and out jealousy of holidays, cars, lifestyle choices, which is incredibly silly as I am actually the kind of person who likes to see others achieve and be happy, but on a bad day, that green-eyed monster has a field day in my head, and then I end up feeling cross with myself for being so reactive. I feel bad for being jealous, and I still feel a little bit down that we are at home still recovering financially from Christmas (or whatever) while others are basking on exotic beaches (and then the cycle starts again). But, I think most people do this from time to time, if they are honest with themselves.

A more dangerous form of comparing that I do is looking at other people, or reading other people’s stories, and think that they have a life that is much harder than mine, so I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed/down/that I am struggling. I also hear myself saying things like ‘I know so many people have it much worse than we do but……’, or ‘I know that the boys don’t have A, B or C but…..’ and then I feel guilty that I’m having a bad week. I share so many memes about hidden disabilities, additional needs, ASD and ADHD and then I almost dismiss hidden disabilities when I am having a tough week, and I berate myself for not coping more.

The thing is, we are all allowed to have tough weeks. We are all allowed to feel overwhelmed with 21st Century life, whether we are single, married, parents, parents of children with disabilities or whatever. It really doesn’t matter that this week Roberta and her daughters are having an amazing week, all that matters is that you aren’t. It doesn’t matter that Roberta works full time, is a single parent to two children with physical disabilities, and that they have all managed to get to the top of Ben Nevis this weekend (but well done Roberta!) – if you are having a tough time, you are having a tough time, and you need to ask for help if you need it. You also need to allow yourself to have a tough time, to struggle and to work your way through it without comparing yourself to others. That’s part of the reason why I started writing this blog, so that other people can share our highs and lows, and see that we are all on this strange roller coaster called life. We need to stop looking at others through rose tinted glasses, and allow ourselves to feel whatever feelings our own roller coaster brings us.