I am an autism mum. I have known that for years, but this morning we went to get the results of an ASD assessment, and it’s official. He has ASD. I am an autism mum.  This is the first time I have written it down, and it feels a bit strange, but there it is.  We have the letter from the hospital. It’s official.

I cried when they told us – tears of relief not sadness. However, it feels strange to be relieved and pleased about a condition that will never go away and will stay with him forever. It feels strange to have fought for this, to have battled for what he knew was there, and for what he wanted.  It feels strange I am pleased that he has a label. I am also pleased that it is up to him who he chooses to tell, and who he chooses not to tell.  We already have a child with ADHD, and he, again, chooses who to tell and not to tell.

Complete honesty warning here –  22 years ago when I was rocking our 4 week old baby who never slept, I would have scoffed at the thought that we would be parents to 2 children with additional needs. Even when our eldest was 5 with the most amazing temper and anger outbursts, it never occurred to me that this was any different to what any other parent was going through.  This was all we had ever known. This was our normal.

Fast forward to when our youngest was born – another baby who never slept, who didn’t like being on his own, who didn’t play like some other toddlers, who hated change – and our wonderful but at times tiring kids were our normal.  It never, ever occurred to me that they had conditions that could be helped.

With the rise of social media, the pressure to have everything photographed and #soblessed means that if I were a new mum now, I would be even less likely to ask for help.  I’ve written before about how my normal will be very different to your normal, and how this is fine.  But I think that if we feel we are struggling with our normal, or if our children are struggling, then we need to ask for help.  We also need to trust our instincts, to listen to professionals, but also make them listen to us.

I am an autism mum. I have two amazing children. Our normal is amazing. We are a fabulous family.