This isn’t for parents of skware peg teens, this is for parents of all teens. Conversations over the last few weeks have made me realise the need for this – we’ve been through it and out the other side with one of our boys, and this would have made our lives a little easier, I think, so I am sharing my wisdom. Please share with parents of teens & pre-teens!

1. All teenagers lie, or, looking at it, they don’t always tell the truth.
2. They don’t necessarily see it as lying, but instead their opinion of their reality.
3. If they do know it’s lying, they probably don’t think of it as wrong, after all, they’re just sparing themselves from being told off, or saving you from knowing the truth!
4. There is a fine line between secrets and privacy, and as a parent you need to make sure they have privacy but not secrets.
5. They know much more about sex than you think they do – and they think about it a lot more too!
6. Same goes for alcohol
7. And drugs
8. Talk to them about sex, porn, consent, saying no, saying yes, alcohol, drugs & anything else you can think of BEFORE it might become an issue.  We had a conversation when both boys were about 12. They thought it was revolting, we felt a little embarrassed but we had the conversation anyway.
9. There should be no taboo subjects.  If they want to ask you about ANYTHING to do with their body, other people’s bodies, kissing, sex, what this means or that means, answer it. Don’t tell them they don’t need to know. If they have asked you, they do need to know.
10. Don’t judge. Their brains are going through re-wiring. They need to take risks, do stupid things, form their own opinions. Question, challenge and give your opinion, but do not judge.
11. See no. 10 for friends & possible girl/boyfriends. They need to make mistakes and learn from them.
12. Listen to the small stuff. It might seem stupid and trivial that he was holding hands with her today, or that s/he couldn’t sit with them at lunch, but to them it’s the big stuff, and if you don’t listen to it now, don’t expect them to talk to you in a year or two when it really is the big stuff.
13. Tell them that you will love them unconditionally whatever they may do. Tell them they can tell you anything. Let them know that if their teenage brain leads them into a dodgy situation, you may be shocked, you may be cross, you may over-react, but you will still love them and you will help them sort out the mess they find themselves in.
14. Put down your phone and talk to them. Watch the films they like. Play the games they like (or at least have an idea of what Fortnight, Pokemon, COD et al are all about). Listen to the music they like, be that Taylor Swift, sweary rap or whatever. Get to know them, and what’s going on in their life.
15. There will be hard times. There will be times when you feel like you have lost them forever. You will weep for the baby you had as you look at this almost adult in front of you who you really don’t know (and possibly don’t like). You will get through them.
16. You will listen to people telling you that you will get through the hard times and you won’t believe them, and then 5 years later you find yourself writing a blog telling other people the same thing, because you really will! Hold onto this thought as it will guide you through the storm
17. They will hate you and even though you love them with all your heart, at times you will hate them too – mostly because you do love them with all your heart.
18. They will smell – either of sweat, body spray or deodorant. I’m not sure which is worse, and sometimes it will be a combination of all three.
19. Tell them that you will always be there for them, even at midnight in the winter when they have had too much to drink and have missed their lift home. Go and pick them up, even if you have music they hate playing very loudly all the way home, and then get up early the next morning and make lots and lots of noise. Pick them up and make sure they are safe.
20. Enjoy the highs, be brave through the lows, and one day you will realise the storm has passed, and you have this amazing adult standing next to you who still makes your heart swell with pride and joy!