After three weeks off, the holidays have (almost) ended, and for us, school is back tomorrow. This means the pre-return blues started 3 days ago, with a conversation that went something like:

Him: Sigh

Me: What’s the matter?

H: It’s Friday

M: I know

H: No, Mum, it’s that Friday.

M: Yes, I know. I knew what you were talking about.

H: But it’s come so quickly. It’s here already

M: I know, but this is the last term til the long summer holiday

H: Sigh

And that’s pretty much how our weekend has gone, with us trying to pry him from his screen and YouTube videos he loses himself in. I’m not going to have a big discussion about the pros and cons of YouTube and screen time here, but we monitor what he watches, and because of his dyslexia, he can’t lose himself in a book like I did when I was his age. Some of the videos are utter rubbish, some are very informative and educational, pretty much like the books I used to (& still) read.  He feels calm & relaxed when he’s on his own in his bubble, but if he stays there too long, it’s hard for him to rejoin the real world. If we drag him away from the screen and go outside, we need to take him out for long enough that he feels energised and happier, but not quite so long he feels stressed and over-socialed.

Last night was horrendous, he just couldn’t stop his mind whirring, even we we tried to use all the techniques he had learnt in CBT. Today, so far, is going better than I thought.  We have made fudge, I’ve dragged him to the local farm shop & then supermarket to choose lunch & dinner (harder to shrug your shoulders and say ‘I don’t know’ when there’s food in front of you), and he’s walking the dog with me later.  Right now, I can hear him in his room, he’s in his bubble and he’s fine – the problems come when he has to leave that bubble.

In an ideal world, he’s told me he’d like me to home educate him in the summer when there’s no rugby at school, and send him to school for the other two terms – in reality, I think what he’d really like is just to be schooled for two terms!  Joking aside, home schooling is a genuine option for us.  I’ve thought about it long and hard for both of the boys, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s maybe where we end up, but he loves sport (well, rugby!), and he isn’t very good at dealing with people.  If he leaves school and doesn’t have to learn how to deal with people now, what happens when he goes to work?

A more important factor in our decision is that he doesn’t want to be home schooled – school is at school, and home is at home, and the two should be separate.  Which means I need to pack the sports kit, find the missing sock, check he has done the homework that was set (although as a parent and a teacher, I believe holidays should be holidays, so we don’t do any extra), and make sure he is as calm and as settled as possible before he goes to bed tonight.  Then I need everything crossed that we get there OK tomorrow, and the day is much better than he is currently catastrophising it might be.