At our youngest’s request we were back the GP yesterday to see if we could have another ASD assessment. He made a list of the things that he feels warrants a referral back to CAMHS, and we did the same. Sometimes the things you live with every day become so normal you don’t realise how abnormal they are until you write them down. It was quite emotional and upsetting to write such a comprehensive list of how his ‘quirks’ affect our day to day lives, and yet compared to so many, we have very few problems.

Don’t get me wrong, as I have typed so many times before, we are blessed with two amazing children and they make our lives so much more fulfilling and fun than anyone could imagine, but they do have additional needs, and as our youngest ventures further into puberty, he is becoming more and more aware of his differences, and this, in turn, adds to his difficulties interacting with some of his peers and coping with the wider world. When we had a deep heart to heart a few weeks ago (when he asked me if I had already booked a GP appointment, but I hadn’t) he told me he wanted a diagnosis so he could tell people he had high functioning autism (HFA) and therefore a superior brain.  I love the fact that that’s the way he sees it, but don’t think the ones who pick on him will necessarily like that comment……

So, we saw the GP, we gave her our lists, I did most of the talking and she agreed that we need to be referred back to CAMHS, without any of the battling or arguing our case I was expecting.  This is exactly what we were wanting, but a part of me wanted her to tell me I was being an over-protective parent & if I did x, y & z he would suddenly become a social animal with no anxieties……that made yesterday a tough day.  For any parent, some days are amazing, most are ok and some are tough, often for no reason.  Some days we think are going to be horrendous are actually easy and fun, and others we think are going to be a breeze aren’t. Yesterday was just tough – no particular reason except we’re back in the CAMHS system, again, and I’m tired at the thought of going through it all, again.

However, a good night’s sleep makes all the difference, and today has been much better – he’s been at a friend’s for most of the day (although is now ready for home), and our amazing older youngling is having a weekend away in Austria. Flashback 5 years and I couldn’t have imagined this, a travelling, confident young adult. He still has wobbles, but he’s a skware peg in a rownd hole world, so the world will continue to make him wobble. As parents of skware pegs, we need to give them confident, solid foundations so that when the world wobbles them they keep standing, and if they fall, they brush themselves down and pick themselves back up.  If that means going back to CAMHS and getting the help they need with the foundations, then I’m ready, let’s go!