First of all, Happy New Year. I hope you had a good Christmas and New Year, one that was (relatively) meltdown/shutdown/stress-free.

Our Christmas and New Year were good. Our youngest struggles with school, but then struggles with the lack of routine at the start of the holidays, so the first week was a little tense at times, but the habit & routine of lazy mornings and slow days kicked in, and our new routine was set.

Christmas morning, we have family round, a sort of open house, and then everyone goes home at lunchtime leaving us to an afternoon of peace and quiet, but a house full of people can be stressful to anyone, and our youngest sometimes struggles with the thought of all the visitors. This year was OK, and he coped very well.

Between Christmas and New Year we had lots of walks, conversations and family time (as well as much more screen time than normally happens, but hey, it’s Christmas). New Year’s Eve was quiet, and New Year’s Day was a walk in the Peak District followed by a family lunch.  All good.

And then last night, ‘it’ happened. The shutdown and meltdown that I had been anticipating for 2 weeks. Two weeks of low grade, chronic stress had taken its toll. Now everything was over, he could release the stress, he could finally let it all go, and let it all out. Headaches, feeling hot, nausea & vomiting – all the usual suspects were there, and this was a long one, lasting well over 3 hours from start to finish.  This is all part of his coping mechanisms, something we learned in CAMHS over the summer. His stress goes beyond fight or flight, and he freezes, shuts down a little. When the stressor is over, be that an exam, a stressful lesson or two weeks of festivities, all the pent up stress, worry & anxiety comes out as a physical & physiological meltdown. For us, this is our normal. For you, it might be something completely different.

So, now it’s the morning after the night before, and everything is fine again.  All the stress has been released and he’s back to normal, no remnants of the night before at all. I, however, am exhausted! A night on his floor with the storm raging outside did not allow much sleep at all, but that’s fine. I can catch up later. What matters is that the stress storm has passed, the clouds have parted and we have sunshine again.