Yesterday was parents’ evening for our younger Skware Peg. As expected, it was all incredibly positive, and he’s doing very well, at least from school’s point of view. There are still too many anxiety triggers, but that’s yet another blog for another day. Flash back 8 or 9 years to our older Skware Peg, and it was possibly better from a socially adept point of view, but not as good academically. And the teachers who all taught him were asking about him and reminiscing with smiles, and sending him their love & best wishes. Does this mean that we can compare? I’m not sure.

Our eldest is the most amazing young adult. He could be the poster boy for ‘I didn’t do that well at school but look at me now….’. He is growing his own business, and he has an ease and a charm that I am very envious of. Our youngest describes him as a really clever Joey from Friends, and that’s quite a good description. He just has an incredible aura that allows him to coach, motivate, train and inspire people. You could be in education for decades and not have that skill. It is innate, and could never be taught or learned.

Our youngest is completely different. He has a quiet charm, if he likes you, and if he doesn’t, he puts on an emotional mask and all you might get is an eye roll or death stare. He, however, is very academic and just ‘gets’ science, maths and humanities. Although writing or typing things down is hard for him, the process of learning is easy. He already knows what GCSEs, A-levels and even what he wants to read at uni, and where he wants to go.  It doesn’t occur to him that his brain won’t take him there.

In some ways the differences between them are the differences between ADHD & ASD. One is out there, doing, socialising (even when he doesn’t like them), wearing his heart on his sleeve, and everyone wants to be his friend. The other is introvert, almost secretive with an exclusive group of friends (with all the other peers being organised as acquaintances, others and mortal enemies – yes, really), and most of them want to be his friend.  Because they live with each other, and see each other’s strengths, weaknesses and daily struggles, the boys are incredibly close.  If they were at school together in the same year, they would hate each other. They are so different, and yet so incredible similar.

So, full circle – can we compare them? Yes, in a way.  We can compare their compassion (both fabulous), kindness (fab again), we can compare how they both work to overcome their barriers (ticked boxes here too), and how hard they are working to achieve their potential (yep, pretty good here as well). But we can’t compare like for like. Our eldest would hate a career in maths or physics, and our youngest would hate a career in coaching and motivation (Talking to people every day? *insert eye roll here*). What we can do is encourage them to look at their strengths, what makes their souls sing, and support them in every way we can to make sure they are amazing human beings who will make the world a better place. And surely, we should be doing this for all of our children, be they skware pegs, round pegs or nonadecagonal prisms (the joys of having a mathematical child!)!