Last week was my exam week – 11 students took English exams at various levels. I know that 4 have passed already, but the other 7 have to have theirs externally marked, so I need to wait for those results, but I feel positive. They were ready, they were capable of passing, and I did everything I could before they went in to make them believe that they could. If you go into an exam thinking you will fail, you probably will. If you go in thinking you will pass, you are much more likely to.

So tomorrow marks the start of exam week for my youngest. Stress levels are high, but we will manage the stress. He probably hasn’t spent as much time revising as he should have done, as every time the books come out, the meltdowns appear on the periphery. On the other hand, we discuss what topics he’s doing at school all the time. I know what the curriculum has been this year for all his subjects apart from Spanish (I don’t speak Spanish, so that’s more or less down to him). I have helped him research the Norman Conquest, we have read maps together, we have discussed forces and energy, made atomical models and have dissected plants to look at stapels and stamens.  We have looked at Roman lives, watched documentaries on Pompeii (and have watched the Doctor Who episode The Fires of Pompeii many times with the excuse that it’s research and revision). We have also debated what or who ‘God’ is, and how much of a marketing tool The Bible was to early Christians (his ideas, not mine). We try to go that little bit extra with home work and research, and I make sure he understands everything as we go along, so all revision is for is fine tuning, checking spelling (as much as we can) and getting last minute details and facts logged.

I don’t mind what marks he gets, but he will. When he had a mini-meltdown that was almost a tantrum last week, I told him I was happy for him not to revise, but asked would he be happy with grades lower than he got last time. He shook his head and did some revision. I really mean that – Ds, Cs or As don’t matter. At 12, in year 7, all that matters is that he learns how to handle the stress of exams, and finds a way to cope. I am one of those strange people who would rather do exams than coursework. I perform well under pressure, and as long as I am prepared (and no obscure questions come up), I generally do well. I am sure this comes from doing school tests twice a year from being 7 (and that was at a large state school).

Thursday is also the first CAMHS counselling session – and that’s causing me more stress than the exams.  I have no idea what will be covered, what will be discussed or how he will react to it. I do know it will be around 10 sessions, 3-4 weeks apart, and I know that there will be homework. I know that, at least at the beginning, I will need to be in the room with him. Maybe it will help me too. Not long til I find out.

Right now, as I type, we are watching yet another episode of our latest box set marathon. Two series down, two to go. In between episodes, we are dog walking, having outdoor time and revising. I firmly believe that mental health is more important than grades. However, when the two are interlinked, and, to a certain extent, good grades are important for his mental health, it is a fine line we walk to ensure that both are attainable.