Four years ago we were in the grips of GCSE angst, and it wasn’t a good time. Various factors were having an influence on our eldest, and the pressure of GCSEs made it all so much worse. They were dark days, and ones I would not want to go back to. However, we came out the other side wiser, stronger and a tighter family unit. We weathered the storm, and were possibly better for going through it.

I now have several friends whose children are in Y11 or Y13, and some have children in both (to those of you who are 35+, that’s fifth form and upper sixth in old money).  The stress and pressure these adolescents are under is immense. The schools want them to do well so they can go on to bigger and better things, and I’m sure they also want them to do well as the GCSE and A-level results will, in time, be published and will make or break the school in these days of league tables and special measures.

GCSE results will be the marker for A-levels, BTECs, apprenticeships and training programmes. In an ideal world, every student will get the ‘magic 5’ at C or above, including maths and English, and then they can go on to whatever course they want to. Obviously, some do, some don’t.

A-level & BTEC results will be the marker for universities, higher apprenticeships, training and employment. Competition for more popular courses means AAA isn’t an uncommon requirement for universities – and I’m sure it wasn’t like that in the (very) early ’90s when I was applying.

This means that at the moment in bedrooms, studies, libraries and at kitchen tables all over the country, young adults who should be full of energy, enthusiasm and joie de vivre will be staring at text books, making notes, highlighting important points and planning their planning. Those on BTECs may trying to get the much needed distinction in their final assignment (or assignments), and they will also be staring at text books and notes with a computer in front of them, desperately trying to stay off social media (and probably failing!).

They will be feeling that their whole future will be won or lost on results day.  Their whole life will be decided on a Thursday in August. Nothing else matters apart from those letters or numbers assigned to them. Everything has led to this moment. Everything after depends on this moment. It really is do or die.

No wonder so many are stressed, panicking and suffering burn out.

You see, it really isn’t do or die. It really doesn’t matter very much. In the big scheme of things, it means absolutely nothing. How you handle what happens in August matters, how you manage between now and then kind of matters. But that little slip of paper? Nah, that doesn’t really matter at all.

I did badly in my A-levels. I had already decided I didn’t want to go straight to uni, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do instead. So I am so glad I didn’t do well. It gave me a chance to stop, to think and decide what I really wanted to do. It took me 8 years to find that out, but when I finally went to uni, I went to study, to use my brain and to learn. I did really, really well in a subject (biology) I wasn’t even allowed to take at school as they didn’t think I would get a good mark.

I know someone else who did very badly in their GCSEs, resits and AS levels. Instead of wallowing, they spent a year getting loads of life experience, and are now about to complete their first year of a BA (Hons) degree (that you’re supposed to have CCC at A level rather than 4 GCSEs, life experience and a bucket full of charm and charisma).

So, back to those GCSE and A level students. At a time when, physiologically and psychologically they should be out taking risks, using up energy, finding out who they are and what they’re about, when they should be smiling, laughing, playing and being free, society dictates that they need to sit still in exam rooms and regurgitate everything they have been taught for the last 10 years or so. They need to know facts that they may never, ever use again. They need to tick enough boxes, that in August they get the right grades to carry on ticking boxes. And they, inevitably, get stressed, anxious and worried, which will affect them all in different ways. Some will be fine, others definitely won’t. Some may travel through the darkest days you can imagine, pulling their family along with them. And, as a society, we see this as normal????

Well, it’s not. And it doesn’t matter. Things will work out how they are supposed to work out. Whatever questions are written on the exam papers, whatever marks and grades are on the results papers in August I can promise you one thing. The sun will rise, the sun will set, the earth will keep spinning and life will carry on. Sometimes AAA is the best thing that will ever happen to you, but sometimes DDE is even better.